2. This is why your daughter should never date a guy named Dave or Daniel or Damien...or put his name in her phone as Daddy ;) (people have weird fetishes, I don't know).
3. "I'M DOING FINE" should really save that whole $#^%show of a conversation.
5. Someone's going to get a hurt.
6. ...WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING?!
7. NOT YOUR MOTHER'S CORPSE, DAMN IT MONICA!
8. I told you. Don't date guys named DAN! No one listens to me... -_-
9. As a dad, you'd never be able to unsee this, and as a man, you never usually would want to...but somehow the universe decided to be a dick and gave you a super hot daughter.
10. ...Oh GOD.
11. Good to know you taught her safety first.
12. Drugs or a boyfriend...not sure what's worse for a father.
13. OH DEAR GOD, NO, LILY, NO!
14. Mom's shaved pork will forever be tainted by this memory.
15. ... Oh...mom.